Are you tired of the negative committee in your head?
We've all been there. Something goes wrong and we immediately judge ourselves for it - our inner voice gets loud with criticism and sometimes even shaming. We are so often more hard on ourselves than anybody else would be. It’s crazy to me and I’ve been there. When I think back to how I used to talk to myself - laying awake at 2 am reliving any embarrassing moment ever, calling myself an idiot for saying “the wrong thing”, questioning how other people perceived my words and actions, not sharing things that bother or upset me because I’m afraid somebody will judge me for it. It was agonizing and isolating, so if that’s where you find yourself - I understand and I’m here to tell you it does get better. It just takes knowledge and practice.
Be patient with yourself as you go through this journey - it takes time, pratice, and perspective.
We're going to have moments where we're engaging in behavior we aren't proud of. There may be times where you've miscommunicated and it's caused issues, there may be times where you're the toxic one. It's up to us to own it, accept ourselves for it, and move on and move forward with the intention of learning and growing.
Of course by practicing gratitude, having a regular self care pratice, holding space for yourself and your self expression, and working towards improvement in your life - your confident : insecure ratio will go from 10:1 to 1:10. For a fun and easy way to touch on all 4 of those aspects - join me for a virtual group class. Find one that fits your schedules :)
Throughout this article, I'll be addressing 3 main topics about self acceptance:
Why should you care? Self Acceptance is the key to Happiness
How can you get there?
Daily Practices and Affirmations
Self Acceptance and Your Happiness
When you can meet yourself with love and compassion and be honest with yourself - this opens the door for endless happiness and opportunity in your life. Not only will you be more kind, patient, and compassionate to yourself when mistakes are made or stress is happening in life, but you'll also be able to meet other people with that same energy.
My Promise to Myself
I've decided - I'm going to own EVERYTHING. I'm going to own my insecurities, I'm going to own my flaws or perceived flaws, the mistakes I've made, and the hurt I've caused. I'm going to own it all. I'm going to try my best to fight past the discomfort of admitting things that I might be scared to admit or ashamed of or feel some type of guilt around. I'm going to try my best to lean into that discomfort and step into my power of letting myself be seen, letting myself be heard, and letting myself be acknowledged. It's a little scary, but I know it'll be worth it.
Self acceptance takes Courage
To admit where you're struggling, where you feel insecure, or where you messed up is a HUGE act of courage. We all have insecurities, we all have moments where we compare ourselves and what we have to others. It's normal for everybody. Even the most seemly confident and well put together people have moments of doubt, insecurity, fear, or some type of issue that boils up. Nobody is perfect and nobody is 100% confident and happy 100% of the time. That's just unrealistic.
A confident approach to your life
Nobody is perfect. Perfection is just an illusion. We're all just humans, doing the best we can with what we know. In admitting my flaws, it makes me stronger, better able to accept and love myself. It's not accepting flaws, it's just accepting me. It's being honest. There might be things that I want to change and work on and it's my responsibility to find the right tools to get me there. Accepting yourself and loving yourself, also allows you to have more space for others. You'll be more patient, more loving, more kind, and less judgmental. Filling your own cup gives you strength to share with others.
How can you get there?
So let's circle this back to you - There are different levels of awareness to overcoming obstacles. In this example trees are the obstacle. Maybe a tree isn't a great example because trees are amazing. Maybe we can sub that out for like stepping in dog poop, that's just a little less obvious than walking into a whole damn tree but anyway, feel free to replace it with a habit/behavior/challenge/perception/etc.
1. You don't acknowledge the tree to you walk into it repeatedly any time you pass it 2. You see somebody else walk into a tree, so you learn to walk around it and never have to experience the pain yourself. 3. You see the tree, acknowledge the tree, and decide to walk around it before walking into it. 4. After walking into the tree a few times, you remember and learn that it’s there and you decide to walk around it from now on.
If you don't acknowledge the tree, there is no way you can get around the thing - you're going to keep repeating the same patterns and wondering what could be different.
We're human we make mistakes, the point of our mistakes is to learn and to grow and to look at what areas in your life are needing more support than you're giving them currently. What are the trees or dog poop that are standing in your way of feeling happy, confident, and at peace? Remember the first step is acknowledging them. If you need help getting to the root of your obstacles or want a no judgement zone for admitting and working towards improvement - fill out your form to see if you quality for one-on-one coaching with me. I have limited time slots available - so fill out your sheet, we'll schedule a call, and you'll decide if I'm the best fit to help accelerate your growth.
Once we acknowledge your pain points, we can start working on unlearning beliefs that aren't serving you, releasing negative beliefs and feelings, learning and praticing new ways of thinking, and making space for a daily pratice. Taking time for yourself to get to know yourself is extremely important for you self-concept.
Daily practice and Affirmations
Implementing a daily pratice is a wonderful way to deepen your relationship with yourself. Some things to consider adding to your routine pratice are exercise, a creative hobby (writing, drawing, dancing, martial arts, sports, sculpting, crafting, etc.), meditation, journaling and reflecting on yourself and current state, body awareness, and gratitude.
As we go through this journey so self love, self acceptance, and owning the damn EVERYTHING here's some affirmations to bring you comfort and support. Take some deep grounding breaths and say either aloud or in your head;
I'm not perfect, but I'm strong enough to love myself anyway.
I'm not perfect, but I'm worthy of love
I'm strong enough to accept myself and love myself wholly and completely
There is courage in vulnerability
For more information and a deeper pratice in all of these areas check out my calendar for this month's group classes and find one that fits your schedule, fill out your form to see if we're the perfect match for accelerating your growth, or a combination. Only you can decide what will help you reach your peak self.
Sending you light and love. All the best,
Roxanne
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